I was 14 when I did Kendo, a japanese sport.
There I got befriended with a 19 year old guy.
He gave me some “big brother” vibes and I liked to talk to him about video games and other normal things.
We used to drive in the same direction to get home after sport.
At that time we already new each other since more than a year and it was never romantic or sexual between us. We were just friends. Maybe there was some interest from both sides but we really never talked about it.
Then once, when we where in the subway on our way home he suddenly told me the following:
He told me his best friend has a really sexy girlfriend and both would like to have a threesome with him and he would like that too.
I said, cool for you.
He kept talking that they only want to have a threesome with him if he lose his virginity before that.
And then he looked at me.
I knew what he tried to ask me but I tried to play the innocent one and told him he should find someone then.
He said yeah.
And I just wanted to get out of the situation asap because it felt embarrassing at that moment.
But when I came home and I thought about it after some time I got more and more angry and hurt.
I was a minor at that time and he asked me something like that which was basically illegal.
Later, when I got 19 years old, 14 year olds seemed like total children to me.
How could he ask me something like this and destroy my innocent, romantic perspective on sex and relationship which I had at the time?!
And not because he liked me, no, he just wanted to use me, my body, to have sex with someone else later.
He throw our friendship away and everything what was left was an awkward feeling.
I never talked to him about it again and I stopped going to that sport.
Years later when I was 18 I met him consistently in the subway again.
We had some small talk and I asked if we should keep in contact this time.
He gave me his number.
After I left the subway I felt all the feelings came back which I felt when I was 14.
It was overwhelming.
I got angry on myself that I was nice to him, even asked if we can keep in contact.
I deleted his number and never talked to him.
That he sexualized me when I was a minor while he was an adult and while we where friends hurt something deep inside of me.
Sometimes I still catch myself thinking about this incidents and can’t stop being angry and upset about it because I wasn’t able to do anything against it.
