Tag Archives: Friend

Ella

My dad and I were heading north from a relative’s house and were stopping to stay the night at a friends house. They had a family of 4, dad, mom, and 2 sons. I was watching a movie with the younger son who is a year older than me (i’m 13 but going to be a freshman). We’re sitting on separate coaches but the dad walks in. He starts touching me in ways I’m not exactly comfortable with but that don’t scream sexual assault or anything. Keep in mind I’m not at all close with this man, I just meet him every once in a while since I was a child. He touches my thigh, and pulls my head down to kiss the top of it, lastly he holds my hand. My hand is all sweaty because I want to pull away but he’s seems a bit confrontational and I’m just not. I try to softly pull my hand away but he just grips harder, so I rip it away. (I forget the order here) My dad has just come into the room and tells him to stop and that he’s making me uncomfortable. He starts complaining that I ripped my hand away but I was cuddling my dad last night (I’ll tell about this later). During all of this his son has just been looking at the screen and said one thing telling his dad to stop but not in a real stop kind of way. I honestly felt uncomfortable with the way dad said that I was uncomfortable, the blame should’ve been put on that man because of the way he was touching me, not on me because I was weirded out. Previously this man (on the same trip but when we were going south and stopped again) had told me to put my leg down because women shouldn’t spread their legs. He had also walked into the room my dad and I were sleeping in (no knocking) and made some comment about a daughter hugging her dad. He talks in Malayalam (my mother tongue but I don’t know it), so all his comments mostly fly over my head but doesn’t switch the language even though I’ve told him multiple times I don’t understand. I later learned that he is turning into an alcoholic and he was most likely pretty drunk during this. This doesn’t in any way excuse the way he acted, it was the first time I felt attacked by weird comments from men. This was a man I had known almost my entire life and the other people in the room ignored it. I honestly would understand for the younger son because I would also feel uncomfortable calling out my own dad. Before when he made the leg comment (sons weren’t in the room), after the older one came down he asked me if my dad had said anything ‘weird’. This wasn’t a irregular things and I’m going to have to see him tomorrow because he’s coming north. I have another female friend with me though, hopefully he’s not drunk this time.

Catarina

I’m a 17 year-old girl. When I was 15 I was once with a group of friends at the city public swimming pool and when we were all in the water, a guy friend of mine was somewhat holding onto me from the back, which I was okay with, but he took that moment of proximity for his advantage and grabbed my boobs with no sign from me that would ever indicate I wanted or was okay with such thing, I immediately told him not to do that and that it wasn’t okay since he never asked. That same day, I was floating with my back up, and he slapped my ass “as a joke”, everyone laughed, but once again I said it wasn’t okay and that I didn’t want him touching me. The rest of the day I just felt off, I wanted distance from him, I didn’t want to look at him, I felt used and somewhat shameful. What bothered me the most wasn’t what he did for itself, it was that he never asked for permission nor did he stop when I very clearly said “No”. It’s been about two years, I bet he doesn’t even remember doing it, but I know I won’t ever forget it.

Isa

We used to have a friend of the family, who was a few years older than me. When he was 17 and I was 9 he came over to our place with his mum. I always liked it when they did, he always let me play on his phone and I always felt so calm around him. We went up to my room and sure enough, I got to play on his phone. But this time he had a condition, I could play any game I liked, but afterwards, we would play a game of his choosing. They were agreeable terms. Except the game he wanted to play was to give each other handjobs. I was 9 years old and had hardly any knowledge about sex. I “played along”. He told me that you weren’t supposed to play the game when you were just a kid and it would be best if I kept quiet. I didn’t tell anyone. As he came over more often the games got more intense and as I often wouldn’t be up for it he would sometimes tie my hands behind my back. Saying we would play until I broke free, as a fun little twist on the game. He told me that if I didn’t play along he would tell my parents that I kept trying to make moves on him and then I would get in trouble. As I got older I obviously realised what we were doing. What I did not realise is that this wasn’t my fault. I told him to stop and he didn’t. I couldn’t possibly tell anyone for I would have to admit that this was going on for quite some time. As he said, it would simply reflect badly on me. I simply couldn’t see a way out. I avoided him as much as I could. I shut myself off. Then after 5 years, he let it slip to a friend who told his parents, who told mine. My parents didn’t know how long it had gone on for. They just knew that it had occurred more than once… My mum simply stated that part of me must have wanted it to happen or it would’ve stopped after the first time. Thus, confirming my fear that I was indeed to blame. It still haunts me in every relationship I form with a man.

Kendal.c

When i was young i think 6 me and my boy best friend hung out at my house,so we went to my room and both layed on the top bunk of my bed so while i was laying on my stomach my best friend got on top of me and started groping and humping and then stopped after a minute and asked if that was okay , but me being so young just didn’t answer and shrugged my shoulders but i did feel very uncombtorable i did not know what he was doing, he probaly did not not know what he was doing either since we were both 6. i am still friends with him to this day and i try not to bring it up since it was years ago

Leonie

It was on New Years. I celebrated with a group of schoolfriends in the city. At 3 am the remaining group decided to go to a friends house. I wanted to get more comfortable so my freind gave me shorts and a straptop. At about 5 am i went to a room to sleep. It was very secluded. I woke up about 1 1/2 hours later to somebody lying next to me. He was inspecting me with a flashlight. Touching my breast and crotch. I dind’t really realise what was happening because I was drunk and I was in this place between awake and asleep. I only started movingafter he started to kiss me and i felt like suffocating. The next morning I did nothing. That was someone I knew for 7 years and he had never behaved like that. It was someone I trusted a friend. I couldn’t even be angry because I didn’t know how. I had boyfriend at that time and I couldn’t even think about having sex. I can still not think about sex at all without feeeling sick. He took a part of my freedome to not care away fom me because without doing anything this had happend.

Breanna

So this happened four times, and I thought that they were accidents, but then it kept happening. I am 14 now, and a freshman at a science based school, where I see 5 men for every one girl. I’m blonde, so I’ve had people think that I’m stupid, and in 8th grade, I was known as easy. It started when I, the quiet book worm, wore a Harley Quinn costume for Halloween. I walked into school and was cat called, and had been told by other girls to cover up because a inch of my belly was showing. Another thing happened that year. It was at six flags. Most of my friends are guys, so I hung out with them on the field trip. We all went on this one water ride 10 times. It was a lot of fun. I was sitting next to one of these boys, and he throw his arm up, and put it on my thigh. I told him to stop, but it happened 6 more times. It was the last ride of the day, and I saved a seat for my boyfriend, but the boy took the seat. My boyfriend sat with his friend, and on the ride he told me how much he loved my costume that Halloween, and how he wanted to do me. So I just sat there, and as we went down the drop he put his hand on my croch. I socked him in the face the worst thing is, is that it feels like it’s my fault. And another thing happened when I was 12 with my 20 year old step brother. He would come into my room when my parents were gone and he would touch me. And that is the moment that my I lost faith in men. I’ve always been scared of guys older than me, and he made me feel like the world hated me. That moment broke in into 20 different pieces

Traumatised Female

I went to a Halloween party recently and got quite exceedingly drunk. A new friend of mine proceeded to ‘check if I was okay’, and groped me – as well as sticking his tongue down my throat. I was paralysed in my drunken state but still repeated the fact that I was very drunk. A friend extracted me from the situation but now I am haunted by this, especially because I did not act in response. I consider myself a feminist but I don’t want to hang out with him anymore but he is a part of my friendship group and so I’ve let it sit. I still have nightmares where someone is touching me and I can’t speak.

Anonymous

(18 yr old, just started university) I was in a club with a friend just escaping two creeps; one of which had grabbed at my friends vagina, and some stranger full on grabbed my ass. Now this kind of thing tends to happen and I’m quite nervous so normally I would have just ignored it, but because I had just been protecting my friend from sexual assault, and pulling her out of a dangerous situation I wasn’t taking any shit. I lightly pushed his chest and told him not go grab me. I was really pleased that I had said something, but it made me think I had only done it as I had just been protecting my friend – I would naturally stand up for them in these sorts of situations and not myself. I’m going to try to treat myself as I would my friends.

Yon Yohnson

Once I was hanging out with my friend and his GF (we’re not friends, relax) She wanted him to get her something she couldn’t reach and when he did, she didn’t thank him in a normal sense; rather, she said ‘Good boooy!’ as though he was an animal doing a trick. I was disgusted.

Hannah

Once when I was about 15, two friends and I (a girl and a boy) were sitting in bed together having a film day. The guy friend was sat in the middle. During the first film I noticed that his hand had begun stroking my leg (at first I thought it was an accident but it was way too regular and prolonged to be so). I kept trying to shift away from him, not wanting to “make a scene”. However, when he moved his hand to in between my thighs and actually touched me I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. My girl friend followed me and found me confused and in tears. She asked me what had happened and when I told her, she said that he had been doing the same thing to her and that I should take it as a compliment as it meant that he liked me. When I eventually did get back into the bed he had stopped doing it, and I thought that that was that. Until I fell asleep and woke up to him with his fingers inside me trying to kiss me (my girl friend was nowhere to be seen).