I’m one of seven kids in ireland. 5 girls and 2 boys. My father and mother told us that the boys would be sent to university and the girls to secretarial school if anything. If we didn’t want that, we got nothing. Because we were in waiting to get married and not work again. We were to marry well. That was our career. My brothers got a free flat owned by dad until they could afford to buy their own. The girls got nothing. The boys have managed my parents’ money since their late 20’s and the girls are not allowed to know about finances. My brothers are totally on board with that. And are both married to very successful women who make as much money or more than them. But when it comes to their sisters we are patronised, lied to and excluded – with their pleasure. My dad was violent. Now my eldest brother abuses his wife and 2 daughters. He speaks to them in a horrible demeaning way and uses his belt on his least favourite girl. No one will stand up to him. I’m not allowed to see his girls any more. He avoids me as much as possible because I call him on his behaviour. But I get no support from my sisters or family as this level of misogyny is so ingrained in our family that I’m the trouble maker for speaking out. I’m in my 40’s. And so the abuse has been passed to the next generation and we as a family have done nothing meaningful to stop it. I feel ashamed and so sad and angry