Same old Uni story

I was a freshman in university. My friends and I were walking around campus and ran into some upper classmen at a liquor store. They had much better alcohol than we did and invited us up to their on-campus apartment to join them. We readily agreed. In our group were two girls including myself and three boys. We did not feel unsafe. The apartment consisted of four juniors and seniors, all male. They played guitar and some video games and we played a few drinking games. I particularly found myself flirting with an attractive junior. My male friends were becoming bored with the lack of available girls and left, really before we knew they were leaving. My female friend had split off from me at some point and was talking in a adjacent room to a few other people. I didn’t feel afraid or alone but I was very drunk. So much so that I decided I wasn’t really interested in partying anymore and found a small futon near the tv and fell asleep/passed out. I woke up several hours later in a room I did not recognize with one of the boys from the party on top of me. He smiled when he noticed I was awake and said ‘well, welcome back !” He was actively having sex with me. I was incredibly alarmed, and confused. I tried to quickly look around to see where I was. Still didn’t recognize the room and clearly showing signs of panic. He said with a bit of a laugh, ” Oh don’t worry. You’ve been clearly enjoying yourself. You’ve been moaning so loud this whole time my roommates could hear you. ” He directed my attention to several used condoms on the floor beside us. This had been going on for a long time. I didn’t know what to even say. I think the first thing I said was ‘ I was alseep’. He just said ” that hasn’t stopped us from having a great night. Don’t worry, you did great.” I tried to sit up but he pressed his weight on me and told me he was ‘almost done anyway’. I closed my eyes. One of his roommates came in . They laughed and kind of congratulated him. I just knew at that point I was going to vomit. He finished, I sprang up and found only my underwear and a tank I had been wearing under my shirt. I pulled them on and said. ” I need to get a drink of water.” He laughed and pointed toward the kitchen. I ran out the door. I ran across campus. No shoes, barely dressed. I was sore, and hung over, and terrified and humiliated. I then realized I didn’t know what had happened to my other friend. I raced to her dorm room, hoping she was ok. She was. She was in her room and when she saw me immediately laughed. I began to tell her what happened between the urge to vomit and the need to shower and hold back tears. She stopped me. She congratulated me. He played Football. He was VARSITY FOOTBALL. He was so cute. She was so jealous. All the blood rushed to my ears. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. I was CONGRATULATED on this several times throughout my freshman year. He went on to play in the NFL, for a very brief time, and now coaches on the high school level. I still have nightmares. I have suffered from anxiety attacks and depression. I dropped out of school shortly after the incident and never came back for the next year. I gave up everything. I knew I couldn’t see his face on campus or on Football flyers or hear one more time how cute he was. It was one of the worst events of my whole life and I’ve only ever been congratulated for it.