After finishing a gig with my band, my fellow bandmates are immediately approached offstage and surrounded with praise from the audience, and I am completely ignored, talked over, and treated like I am invisible. When I try speaking up, I am spoken over or elbowed aside.
The only time I was approached after a gig was when two drunk creepy men tried to offer me a thong they’d found on the floor of a toilet.
Other times, upon trying to enter various venues we were playing at, I’ve been stopped by door staff who don’t believe I’m a band member, or who ask if I’m ‘a girlfriend of the band’.
I’ve had sound guys deliberately using overcomplicated terminology to try and confuse me (or imply I’m stupid), then when someone comes over to help me, they explain it dead simple to him.
I’ve had one of my own band members ask me to wear something more ‘form fitting’ so we get more guys coming to gigs. I’ve been told that in the future, people might pay more attention to us because having a girl in the band is ‘interesting’. (It’s not.)
Since I was in this band I’ve just been bombarded with constant sexism. People have told me it’s to be expected in such a male dominated scene. I try to dress androgynously, because actually looking like a woman has no place in our music scene.
I write 80% of the material, organised our image, mix and master our tracks, create our artwork and designed our logo, and yet people never, ever assume I’ve contributed to anything, and it amazes them when they see I have.