I was 16 and just come out of a terribly abusive relationship. I was still recovering. I was on the bus home from school. A boy I’d known since primary school was sitting next to me. We weren’t talking, which seemed odd because he was usually friendly. All of a sudden he asked me “Are you still going out with Gabriel?” To which I replied no. He then said and I kid not ” You’re not? Come over then, wearing something else…” I didn’t reply. I was stunned. Here I was, just recovering from abuse when another boy objectifies me all over again! My thoughts about this event now are Why were you assuming a) I’d just obey you, no questions asked b) I was attracted to you. I wasn’t c) I wanted to dress to please. I didn’t d) I’d want to do sexual things with you. I wouldn’t and e) You had rights to my body????!!!! That’s what your comment implied.
Another incident happened in my 20’s. I’m Christian and wanted to wait till marriage. That was my choice. I went to see a male gp about some tummy pain. A student doctor was with this gp. The student gp asked if I could be pregnant. I said no. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. He kept asking me if I was sure until I said Yes I’m sure because I’m a virgin! His response? “You’re too hot to be a virgin.” As if my hotness dictates when I lose my virginity. As if the idea that I was allowed to choose when I give of myself wasn’t a real thing or even allowed to be a real thing! As if my “hotness” was wasted because it wasnt being used to please a man. My body, my choice! And that comment was really unprofessional. These 2 are not the only times I’ve endured harassment and they are aside from much worse crimes I’ve endured, which I dont wish to disclose here. Thank you for reading.