Years ago, I was standing on a busy train and a man stood very close behind me and started to rub his groin on me. I was shocked and moved away, but he followed me and did it again. I was too shy to say anything, I looked around in horror at other people on the train who were watching and saw it all happen, yet no one said or did anything. That was the worst feeling, the hopelessness. I kept trying to move away from him until the train stopped and I could flee the situation. The fact nobody did anything still makes my skin crawl.
I have been raped (when I confronted him he told me it was my fault and to make better choices), I have been strangled twice (once in public) touched inappropriately countless times (with onlookers watching), and sexually harassed more times than I can remember from a young age. I would let guys who pressured me touch me or have sex with me because it was easier than saying no, although my body language definitely said no. It makes me feel sadness and anger. I used to feel guilt and shame but now I know it isn’t my fault. I know these days I will always speak up to stop this behavior and always expect to be asked for consent. When I was younger I was too shy and naive and lacked awareness of what consent was. It scares me to think of all the young women who might go through all the same experiences that I did. I hope this helps stop that from happening.
