I was selling some things online, and a user of the sales portal used my contact information to text me very inappropriate stuff. At first I did not understand what he meant, because I was selling shoes, and he was asking about socks, and his grammar was inconsistent.
So I asked him if he could clarify. After a couple confusing texts, he finally spoke his mind clearly: He asked me if I would wear pantyhose for a few days to make them smelly, and then send them to him. He offered to pay a little money for each pair. Then he started to send me kissing emojis. I immediately blocked his number without responding further.
It made me feel scared, because this man had my phone number.
I immediately deleted my number and other person-specific information from my profile on the sales portal and will take subsequent action of giving his number to the portal administrators, so they can block him as a user.
It also made me feel really tired and frustrated, because I had to change my number last year because of another inappropriate man.
This other man and I were dating for a couple of weeks. When I found out he was married, I broke it off (albeit a little later than I should have). Even after repeatedly being VERY CLEAR to him, that I no longer wanted to see him or have any contact with him, he would still call me non-stop for hours and hours. This happened every 3-4 months, and it kept me in a constant state of fear.
Would he come seek me out?
He knew where I lived at the time.
After a year and a half of ignoring his sporadic call-frencies I finally changed my number.
I felt defeated.
Why must it be my burden to bear that these men have problems?
Why am I the one who has to feel shitty, be genuinely scared, when I am not the one who is wrong?
Why do I have to carry these men’s wrongdoings around with me?
I am in a constant state of self-consciousness because of guys who act inappropriately:
When I go out once in a while, I always make sure not to dress in a flattering way, so that I can mitigate the excessive amount of cat calls and but-groping.
When I go to work, I am ashamed of myself for dressing nicely when colleagues ask why I am so dressed-up, just because I wore a skirt and mascara.
It makes me feel uncomfortable that men are keeping an eye on me like that.
Stop being inappropriate, guys, and be as nice as we all know you really can be!