My secondary school had a HUGE problem with sexism and sexual harassment. One of my first memories of this is walking back from a lesson in year 7 and an older boy (probably year 10 or 11) shouting “I want to f**k you” while his friends all laughed. My older sister had warned me about the boys at school so I ignored it. Another time when I was also in year 7, a group of older boys (again) and one pushed his friend into me, pushing me into the wall so I hit my head and shouted “Kiss her!”. Again, I ignored it, but I remember crying on my way to my lesson. More examples of this “joke” harassment continued to happen to me and my friends over the years, and it really makes me wonder, is it really any less bad if its done as a joke? At the end of the day it just shows that a lot of boys see us as objects, whether we are: a) sexual objects or b) just there to be the butt of their jokes- completely void of any thoughts or feelings of our own.
And if you’re thinking that, while this is bad, it sounds like basic slimy teenage boy behaviour, just you wait- it gets worse. These slimy teenage boys were preparing all this time to ascend to a whole new level.
In year 11, the boys in my year made a club. It was called the “Men’s rights club” but it was actually code for the “We hate women” club, as they didn’t spend ONE MINUTE talking about men’s issues that exist as part of the patriarchy (because they do exist), instead they posted sexist content online, bullied and harassed my friends, and went around the school shouting “Get back in the kitchen!” at girls they didn’t like (aka feminists) with absolutely no shame. When I brought this up to our head of year (with evidence) he said there just wasn’t anything he could do. And I’m *sure* it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that they were all on his football team, after all, its not like men who do sports have a history of getting away with all kinds of disgusting behaviour, is it?
Anyway, flash forward and I’m at uni, and I don’t have to see any of them ever again. And while I can look back now and just think about how completely ridiculous it all was, it still happened. And it just shows how brazenly and openly sexist men are allowed to be with no consequences. Sexism is learned, and if no one tells these boys its wrong, what’s to stop them doing worse things in the future?- though I pray those boys have all learned since then that they should treat women with respect. At the end of the day, what happened was wrong, and it had a severe effect on my mental state at the time, too. Women suffer because of men, whether it is in big ways or small, and STILL boys comfort is valued above our wellbeing. I’m sending love and strength to anyone dealing with sexism and its effects. There needs to be a change, and I believe that change can happen if schools decide to tackle the problem head on and take the steps to teach boys how to be respectful.
